Whether you are a bride or you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, you might wonder, what the duties of a bridesmaid actually are.
If you have been asked to be a bridesmaid at your friend’s wedding, congratulations! It’s a beautiful role, and also very important.
Your friend will experience one of the most exciting, significant and memorable days of her life and you’ve been asked to help her.
I am pretty sure you want to do your best. Actually, I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid this year myself, so we are in this together! 🙂
What are the duties you as a bridesmaid have? And if you are a bride, what can you expect from your bridesmaid?
This is, how it works…
There are no fix rules. 🙂
It really depends on what the bride and the bridesmaid agree on.
There are some basic duties, most bridesmaids take care of. Then there are some optional duties based on tradition.
And if the bridesmaid really rocks, there are also some special optional duties and tasks.
Also, if you as a bride don’t know, how you should ask your bridesmaids, read this inspirational article.
First of all, the bridesmaid stands up front with the couple during the ceremony. Usually, she would also wear the dress the bride asked for.
Being a part of the wedding processional and recessional is thus the bridesmaid’s most important function. She should be cheerful and upbeat during the whole ceremony.
Bridesmaids usually show up at the rehearsal before the wedding and the rehearsal dinner. During rehearsals, they act supportive and listen to the instructions.
Also, all bridesmaids traditionally take care of their own travel and get themselves to the wedding. If the couple is really generous, they might pay for it, but they shouldn’t expect them to do so.
According to the traditional duties, the bridesmaid is responsible for throwing a bridal shower. This is usually done in cooperation with other bridesmaids and also the couple’s moms.
Following the tradition, the bridesmaids can also throw the bachelorette party.
During the wedding preparations, a good bridesmaid will check on the bride every few weeks or so and make sure the bride doesn’t need any help. There’s so much to take care of so a pair of hands or two can be a big help.
One or more of the bridesmaids can help with the wedding planning or even with the dress shopping. Some of them can also take care of shopping for accessories for the bride.
It’s a big help for the bride when the bridesmaids take care of shopping their own dresses and then the fitting.
All of them should keep the bride updated about the purchase or any issues with fit or design.
It’s not a bad idea for a bridesmaid to make an appointment for a hair trial.
This way she can make sure that her hair will look exactly the way she wants. She can also test if the hairstyle can last the whole day.
There will be several occasions when all the bridesmaids meet and it can happen, that one of the bridesmaids doesn’t know another bridesmaid. They should still make an effort and be friendly towards each other. Plan a brunch for all the bridesmaids and get to know each other better.
On the morning of the wedding
On the big day, bridesmaids are more important than ever. They should arrive early for the bride and be there already when she is getting up.
They are a calming influence, have everything organized and double check every step.
When the bridesmaids get to the venue, they make sure everything is prepared as planned. When the guests arrive, they also make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be.
If the bridesmaids are really thoughtful, they will bring some necessities to the wedding, like safety pins, tissues, deodorant, water bottle, lip gloss, mints, Paracetamol, plasters and other things the bride could need.
Checking on the bride during the day is very thoughtful. They should make sure that her makeup, hairstyle and dress looks good, especially before the photo shooting!
Hey, it’s a wedding after all! If you want to be the coolest bridesmaid, go on the dance floor with the groomsmen and get that party rolling!
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What should the bridesmaid pay for?
Usually, the bridesmaid pays for her own dresses and accessories. She might get some of the jewelry as a gift from the bride.
She should take care of the costs of her travels.
Bridesmaids give the couple a wedding present. They can give one present as a whole group, or individually. Bridesmaids also give a gift to the bride at the bridal shower.
How should the bridesmaid behave?
Every bridesmaid should realize that today is not about her and she should smile, act polite and be there for the bride.
The bridesmaid should be positive and accept the couple’s choices. It is not her wedding and even if it doesn’t go along with her taste or opinion, she should be respectful and supportive towards the couple.
On the other hand, if the bride asks the bridesmaid for her opinion regarding the attire or decoration, she is definitely allowed to be honest.
Still, she should tell her opinion in a gentle and positive way. Being a bride is very stressful and the bridesmaids should calm the bride down, not the other way around.
The bridesmaids are bride’s closest friends and so they should be her biggest support. There is no better way to show the bride the love than being there for her the day before and the day of the wedding.
Helping her with anything she needs, giving her emotional support and not complain in front of her is something the best bridesmaids do.
As you can see, there is a lot of space for different expectations from the bride and bridesmaid.
Therefore I’d suggest having an honest open conversation about what the bride expects and what the bridesmaid is willing to do.
Let me know if the information were helpful and next time, I will tell you more about what are the duties of the maid of honor.